


Fight or flight

by StarryNightLight50



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Alcohol, Blasphemy, Explicit Language, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentioning of prostitution, Misogyny, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-20 21:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15542250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryNightLight50/pseuds/StarryNightLight50
Summary: Written for the anonymous prompt at the ad season 5 prompt meme. I took some artistic freedom with the prompt, I hope that's okay. First time writing ad-fanfiction and first time posting a story, so I hope it doesn't suck too much.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [ADS5Prompts](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ADS5Prompts) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Gob actually fucks his way through Mexico this time, only his target is the male population. Unable to recreate what he had with Tony, he goes back home to find him waiting for Gob.

 

The bar is filled with women. Just like all the other bars he went through. But somehow he can’t seem to enjoy this like he used to. Not since…

 

Gob sighed and took a sip from his drink. And being here with his dad wasn’t helping either. That man was the epitome of manliness. He had asked his dad to join him to the bar of the hotel tonight, but his dad insisted that he wanted to be well rested to ‘’bang a hot mess’’ tomorrow. God, and there he had been asking his dad to go out and bang chicks tonight. How gay must he have sounded? He needed to be more careful.

 

‘’Hey man, what’s eating you?’’ Gob looked up to see that a man was sitting down on the barstool next to his, ordering a martini. ‘’Want one too? You look like you need it,’’ the guy laughed.

 

Ever since his night with Tony, Gob was starting to look at men differently. Not that he never admired a man’s looks before. He did that more than he ever was willing to admit out loud. But the connection he had felt at Cinco, or more importantly, the reciprocity, was like an eye opener. All these years trying to force himself to feel something for the women he slept with. The only thing that stuck was a fleeting moment of feeling wanted. Before he wanted to reject and run away, because the moment of imitated intimacy was always followed by a feeling of hollowness and loneliness. He had felt a shimmer of the kind of connection he had felt at Cinco before, when he used to ‘follow people to their car’ or in the occasional threesome. But always with the guy. And that had scared him so much that he followed it up with sleeping with even more women. Or presumably with a forget-me-now, but who could tell?

 

Either way, he never entertained the thought of engaging in those inklings of feelings in favor of being the ‘charming ladies man’. That at least seemed to make his dad sometimes proud. Kind of. Truth is, he’d do anything for a pat on the back or the occasional high five. And sometimes it seemed to make Michael jealous, the ease with which Gob could talk to women. Which was an enormous plus side to the lifestyle he had been living. Anything to one-up Michael was pure gold. The guy had too much going for him already. Being confident and successful with the ladies was Gob’s thing. He didn’t know anything else to be.

 

‘’Hey, guy, are you okay? Want a beer or something? Hello?’’. Gob blinked out of his reverie. Anyway. Ever since the whole Tony-debacle he could hear some inner voice scream louder than ever, like it was elated to be free and couldn’t shut up about it. And the voice was telling him this Latino man was one hell of a hunk.

 

‘’S..ss..sure, thanks. A beer would be nice.’’ Goddammit. Ever since that voice came to the surface, it was accompanied by a difficulty to speak to attractive men. The man next to him smiled, which made talking and thinking coherently all the more difficult. Is this how it was for Michael to talk to women? What a complete hell. Wait, did this all mean he was really gay?

 

‘’Not having any luck tonight either? I mean, the women look amazing, but they are all so full of themselves. I’m striking out left and right.’’ The guy sighed. ‘’How ‘bout you? Still on the hunt? By the looks of it you’ve also given up.’’ The man looked at him. With beautiful green eyes. Just like..

 

‘’Uhm.. yeah man, totally. Stuck up pussy’s tonight, am I right?’’ Gob finally managed to utter, laughing uncomfortably. The bartender gave him his beer. He raised his glass to the man next to him. ‘’Thanks…uhm, I didn’t catch your name?’’

 

‘’Jesus’’, he said.  
-‘’Geezus?’’ Gob asked confused. He thought only that lame dude on the cross had that name. If anybody could be called that, his ‘Amazing Jesus’ stage name could be more confusing than clarifying. A frown was forming on his face. Great, more failure to deal with.

 

‘’No, no..,’’ the guy replied, ‘’Jesús’’

 

‘’Gay-sus?’’ Gob was getting very confused about this. The man laughed a bit. ‘’You’re funny. So what’s your name?’’

 

‘’Gob, G-O-B.’’

-‘’Gawb?’’

‘’No, Gob, as in Joe, but with a B.’’

Jesus laughed a little and Gob could feel himself become a little flustered. Dangit.

 

‘’Well Joe with a B, it’s nice to meet you.’’ And the guys shook hands.

 

 

 

The hours seemed to fly by. The more he talked with Jesus, the more relaxed he became. Also, the alcohol was probably helping. But Jesus was a nice guy. Not ‘same’-nice, but nice.

 

‘’So, what do you say we get out of here?’’ Jesus put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a dazzling smile. Gob blinked. ‘’Sorry?’’. Jesus eyes widened. ‘’Oh my god, I’m....I’m sorry, I’m bisexual, I thought that you…you know…because we’ve been flirting like all night...’’ Jesus stammered on. Gob looked on in unveiled surprise. Even though Gob was very much confused about his own sexuality, he had honestly thought this guy was straight. Shouldn’t he be wearing a feather boa or something? And talk with a really high voice? That was the image of gay people he had been imprinted with by his parents. This guy was nothing like that. But then again, he didn’t consider himself anything like that. Did that mean he considered himself gay? Was the fact that he wasn’t as flamboyant as he imagined he should have been if he were gay, proof that he wasn’t? This was all so confusing. And he couldn't talk with the one person he think would get it, who he seemed to be able to talk about anything with and never get a response which made him feel disconnected from the world, but rather like he was sharing an experience as…same…

 

But Tony wasn’t here. Tony left him, disappeared. Left him alone with all these…feelings…and with noone to turn to. He looked Jesus in the eyes. The man looked embarrassed, but with still some glimmer of hope. And Gob doesn’t know how to feel about any of this, he feels like he’s been in some kind of roller coaster ever since Cinco. He has so many questions, and no one to help answer them for him. So maybe he should do what he does best. Not thinking, but acting. If he were really gay, he would enjoy sex with this man, right? Gob knew he had had sex with men in the past, but that was for money, or in a threesome, those didn’t count (at least, that’s how he had reassured himself in the past if he ever came close to opening this wormhole of feelings). If anything, it might help him get his mind off of Tony, who was probably enjoying himself and laughing at the idea of Gob having a mental breakdown over him. And if Gob didn’t like the sex, it would proof that he isn’t gay and he could finally get some goddamn peace of mind. He was not made for overanalyzing, especially his own psyche. In any case, sleeping with this dude just to figure something out for himself wasn’t gay: it was genius.

 

So, before he lost his nerve, he stood up from the barstool, looking Jesus straight in the eye. ‘’Let’s risk it,’’ he said. ‘’Risk it?’’. Jesus looked confused. Gob clarified, ‘’I mean, let’s do it, I’m like, you know…too,’’ awkwardly gesturing towards Jesus. Jesus smirked, and it reminded Gob somewhat of Tony’s smile. ‘’All right, I like a man who’s bold.’’ Suppressing the nervous tingles in his stomach, Gob followed the man to his room.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Goddammit. This was not part of the plan. He was silently walking the hallways of the hotel, heading back to his own room. They had to get out of here, and fast. He just hoped he could convince his father to up and leave without asking too many questions.

 

Jesus was supposed to give him answers, show him the right way if you will. But he guessed he put too much faith in one guy. Once he had followed him up to his room, just an hour ago, things had been awkward. Until Jesus kissed him…which had been nice. Very nice. But also, very not-nice. The whole idea had been to get his mind at ease, answer some questions. But it ended up causing more.

 

Like, why did he like kissing the guy? Was it just the kissing? Or the guy-part? But then again, when he had felt Jesus’ five o’clock shadow tickle his face, he had thought of Tony. Which in turn had made him equally more and less turned on. Another fricking feeling he had no name for had surfaced. Some sinking feeling in his gut, which made him want to call Tony and ask if everything was okay. But everything was not okay, Tony was the one who broke the connection, right? This was all so…aargh. Gob felt like punching something.

 

Anywho, he kinda sorta had roofied Jesus. No biggie. It was like ensuring someone didn’t remember a failed illusion, right? In this case the illusion that Gob could go through with the night, without any feelings of gut-sinking. He did not want to explain any feeling he couldn’t even bring into words in the first place. God, he was thankful that they were now in a part of Mexico he hadn’t been before, so the clerk at the kiosk hadn’t known him and had sold him the Forget-me-nows the other day. What an age to live in, a pill for everything.

 

But he couldn’t take any chances. He had got to get out of here.

 

 

 

 

Convincing his dad to leave, because ‘there weren’t any hot chicks here’, had been surprisingly easy. Another testimony of the alpha male that was his dad. Already arriving at the next town, Gob was feeling better. Like he was driving away from his problems, which made it easier to forget. He briefly wondered why he hadn’t taken a forget-me-now for the whole Jesus-ordeal, but having had to go an extended period of time without them before this trip to Mexico, made him remember the whole syphilis-episode more clearly. It kind of put him off the whole pill-thing. Besides, the memory he had initially wanted to forget the most, was already saved in his long term…brain-thingy.

 

 

The beach was nice, he guessed. All the seemingly happy people around him were kind of annoying though. His dad was out  swimming, having murmured something about hoping to encounter a loose seal. What a brave guy, wanting to fight a seal bare-handed, something about ending his suffering, which Gob assumed meant he would beat the seal up pretty bad.

 

‘’Watch out!’’ Gob looked up just in time to get hit by a beach ball straight in the face. ‘’Goddammit,’’ he mumbled. A young guy came running towards him, ‘’I’m super sorry dude! Does it hurt?’’. It did. But it was just a beach ball, so he knew it wasn’t supposed to hurt enough to be able to complain about it, ‘’I’m fine!,’’ he countered, a bit snippy.

-‘’Sorry man, can I make it up to you? How about you come and play a game with me?’’ Gob blinked. Did this guy just…? ‘’What?’’

-‘’Yeah man, we’re on an even score right now, so no problem, you can join my team. Unless you’d rather play for the other team? Or both, whatever, it’s just a game, you can switch.’’

Having finally learned to take a second before reacting, Gob looked behind the guy. A group of people were waving at him, encouraging him to come join them in a game of beach volleyball. Ah. That made much more sense. Gob looked at the group and saw some women in there too. Nice and safe to go and have some fun with them without raising any suspicion from his dad. Gob smirked, ‘’You’re on.’’

 

 

 

Gob felt like he was in high school again. Which was amazing, because high school was great for Gob. He scored point after point in the game, gaining lots of praise from his team and especially lots of attention from the girls. This was finally a familiar territory and he felt himself acting in a knee-jerk fashion. Flirting with the girls, boosting about his (teams) victory, showering in the praise, buying everyone a beer to show off his (supposed) wealth. This was great, this was how things should be.

 

The sun was going down, and his dad had come by, looking disappointed in apparently not having found a seal and called it a night. Gob opted to stay with his new friends by the campfire they just ignited. The longer he could bask in this safe feeling and getting the attention he always craved for from these new friends (with names he couldn’t quite remember…), the better.

 

‘’You’re a cool dude, Gob. I’m glad I hit you with my ball today,’’ the guy laughed, as Gob watched his father walk off in the distance, finally entering and closing the door of the van. Most of the people from the group were lounging one place or another, him and the guy sitting closest to the fire. ‘’Thanks,’’ Gob said, ‘’I don’t think I got your name?’’.

The guy had a mellow laugh, ‘’Oh shit, that’s true I guess, my name is Derek,’’ the guy said, raising his hand from the sand and wiping it off on his beach shorts before extending it to Gob, ‘’Derek Nile, but all my friends call me D.’’ Gob shook his hand.

‘’Cool. My name is actually George Oscar Bluth II, but everyone just calls me Gob.’’

 

 

 

 

Gob was happy he had decided to come to this place. He finally felt a little bit like his old self and D. was an interesting guy to talk with. Before he knew it, the stars had come out and most of the other people had resigned to their homes or tents or whatever, Gob hadn’t really noticed anyone was gone until D. put an arm around his shoulder, clearly drunk.

‘’Gob,’’ he hiccupped, ‘’I never met someone like you man, you like get me and stuff.’’

He looked long into Gob’s eyes and Gob was getting nervous. Shit, not feelings again! Now he had a feeling of wanting to simultaneously run and stay at the same time. Not sure why and on which instinct he had to react, he just sat there awkwardly, letting D.’s arm rest on his shoulder. He guessed he was just a sucker for any friendly physical contact and the complimentary words were also a big ego boost he didn’t know he needed this much, even after today. But D. just kept staring at him. So Gob was about to ask him if he was okay, when suddenly D.’s lips were on his. Wide eyed he kind of just sat there while D. moved his lips on Gob’s. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to get into a whole new thought-spiral, Gob gave in. And it was nice, if he just didn’t let himself think anything and just… feel. Like he used to, do and don’t think, even though it got him into trouble all the time. D. moaned softly as Gob brushed his hand through D.'s hair, his nice, dark brown hair. Letting the short cut hair pass between his fingers made them form some haphazardly spikes that would not stay up, unlike..

 

Dammit!

 

Gob broke the kiss off and looked into D’s eyes like a deer into headlights. D. was looking quite the same. ‘’Oh my god, I’ve never….I didn’t…..maybe it’s the booze? Oh man,’’ D. was rambling and quite clearly hadn’t planned on this either and Gob was fairly certain he was the last person who should help someone else with their identity crisis.

 

Great. This was not supposed to happen.  
Not just this thing with D., but everything: this trip, everything with Tony, all these feelings… why couldn’t he just ignore them like always? Why was he so…consumed by thoughts? He didn’t like it, hadn’t asked for it. Goddammit.

 

Anger rose in his stomach, a nice recognizable emotion, which made him stand up abruptly and leave D. sitting there without saying a word to him, leaving for the camper. He could vaguely hear D. desperately trying to form words, but he didn’t want to hear them. He had enough words and questions for himself.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, final one will be longer

 

He was sitting with his dad at some bar, wearing these stupid horny-shirts he had bought in an attempt to convince his dad he was ‘so into this trip’, which by now seemed clear neither of them were. The conversation he had with his dad was the most honest he had had with him….ever. Without disclosing too much to his dad, he somehow found some solace in the conversation.

 

He was a fool. It was hopelessly hopeless to keep trying to forget or figure out anything Tony-related. The trip had just made him more alone with his thoughts.

 

So when his mother called for help, he was quick to rise to the occasion. And with a new sense of purpose, something to occupy his mind with, he headed back home.

 

 

 

 

Man, this place was a piece of shit. He had tried to turn the lights on in the model home, but immediately popped a lightbulb. Whatever. He just had to find a bed or couch to lay his head, the rest he could figure out in the morning. Stumbling around in the dark, cursing as he bumped into several pieces of furniture, he decided he wasn’t going to risk taking the stairs. So when he finally found the couch he let out a deep, content sigh as he let himself fall, a smile on his face as his body singed with relief after a long and depressing journey back ‘home’ (if he could call the model home that..).

 

He thought he was just dozing off, but apparently he had fallen asleep, ‘cause when his phone rang it felt as though it was blaring at him from hell. He bolted upwards and wiped the drool of his face before desperately trying to find his phone to turn that wretched sound off. Finally finding it in his pocket, he answered.

 

‘’God damn mom, I just got back, can’t I get a night of sleep before having to safe this family again?!’’ It was just like his mom to constantly get on his case when she wanted something from him. Like he would forget otherwise or something. Tsk, what did she know? Wait, why did she want his help again?

 

It was suspiciously quiet on the other side of the line, which was not like his mom at all. Furrowing his brow Gob looked at his screen to check if it was indeed his mother on the other end, something he had just assumed. Sadly, no one else seemed to call him anymore. When he turned the screen to his face he was in shock to see a familiar name on there.

 

‘’…Tony?,’’ Gob breathed into the line. Why? Why would Tony call him? Why now? What did he want to say? Was something wrong? Did he know about his failed trip through Mexico and his all around miserable life since he left him? Did he call to rub it in? What, why, how…?

 

‘’….hi,’’ Tony finally answered, and all Gob’s other thoughts flew out the window, now only being able to feel his heart beating in his chest. ‘’Look, I’m sorry,’’ Tony answered after a deep sigh, ‘’I shouldn’t have left, but I came back and went to see you today, only to find out you had left, and I don’t know, I wanted to talk to you about…everything. I figured you were still gone, but apparently you’re back from wherever you went?’’

 

Tony wanted to talk? Why? ‘’You want to talk?’’ Gob couldn’t stop himself for spurting out the question.

 

There was a short silence. ‘’Yeah…but now that you’re back…Are you at the model home? Is it okay if I come by? I’d really rather talk in person…’’

 

A million questions and thoughts raced through Gob’s mind, but the strongest word that was shouting in his brain, even louder than any insecurity about the nature of this talk, was a ‘’yes..’’

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Why did he have to act all cool? Saying he could wait a day to meet up with Tony. Wanting desperately not to sound too desperate. But goddammit, if he was tired before, he hadn’t really known what tired was until he found himself wide awake all night, trying to find answers to questions he didn’t know how to even formulate. When dawn broke, he finally could get in some hours of sleep, his body practically collapsing from exhaustion. When he was finally awoken by his alarm clock, telling him to go to ‘work’ (cause let’s be honest: Gob liked complaining about working way more than actually getting things done), he hurled the clock out the window. Except his aim was off and the clock barely hit the glass. Which didn’t stop the window from breaking. Piece of shit house.

 

 

Arriving at the company fashionably late, Gob entered the building reluctantly. Being president of the company had always been boring, although he would never say that to Michael. President always sounded like a great job, with lots of respect and attention and awe to your name. But the reality was that it was mostly nerdy, organizational, responsible stuff, which was definitely not Gob’s forte. Which was fine when Michael had been secretly doing all that work stuff when Gob had been president all those years ago. But with no Michael and a desperate need to be distracted, Gob decided to unleash a more hands-on approach on the job.

 

And looking out the window at the incredible view (Really, what ís a bike tire doing on the roof of a Rite Aid?), he was doing a pret-ty good job, if he said so himself (and he did). Way better than Michael was doing, with his stupid something-something-search-car or whatever. The chief complaint officer was babbling away at him about plummeting stocks or whatever and Gob prided himself in feigning interest and nodding along from time to time. The guy left soon enough anyway. Gob sighed. This place was dead, no one except that worrywart in near vicinity. He really needed an ego boost right now and this place just didn’t cut it.

 

Then Gob remembered he had another business to attend to. The trophy store! That place needed a lot of fixing up and even though Gob was not really made for swinging a hammer (or whatever you should do when doing handy-work), working hard at the store surrounded by trophies would really make him seem humble. Like, down with the common folk, but still superior of course. Smiling, he stood up from his chair and left the company with a new mission.

 

 

 

At the end of the day, Gob hadn’t really been able to fix anything at the store. But he did figure out how to operate the engraving machine, which was a lot of fun. The only problem was that he now had to find a market for a few dozen trophies with ‘Gob nr.1 son’ engraved on them. Oh well, that was another days work.

 

After finally arriving at the model home and taking some time to clean the place up (shoving stuff into empty closets and cabinets), cook some food (eat some mustard and parmesan) and clean himself up (taking a long shower, turning the temperature to freezing cold when he kept thinking about Tony), he couldn’t keep his mind distracted any longer. And so now Gob was anxiously pacing the living room. He has no plan, never had, so he doesn’t know how to come up with one now that he needs it. The big question racing through his mind is: ‘what do I want?’. If Mexico taught him anything, it’s that he loves Tony Wonder. Even if he is not ready to admit this out loud. He vaguely remembers a plan to set Tony up, but for the life of him can’t remember why and how. And it doesn’t even matter. Because things have changed. Tony might’ve changed. So any plan Gob could come up with could be useless if Tony decided to come by just to rub in how his plan díd work…whatever his plan was. And that was another big question: what did Tony want? If he didn’t remember Cinco, then why..

 

Gob has no time to deconstruct his thoughts, because the doorbell just rang and all the concentration and sanity he did have, flew out the window.

 

So, when all else fails, Gob resorts to the thing he is kinda good at (or at least, least bad at): acting, doing, thinking on his feet and building up a wall of charm and confidence to mask any insecurity he can’t and won’t name anymore. All this thinking was giving him a headache anyway.

 

Straightening his shoulders and putting up a confident smirk, he goes to the door. When he opens the door though, no one is there. That’s odd. He could’ve sworn he heard the doorbell. As one of the few electronic devices that actually works in this piece of shit house, it’s sound is very recognizable. Looking at his watch, he sees that Tony is already running a few minutes late. And that’s weird. Punctuality is a trait any good magician holsters. Most illusions only work when everything is timed right, and Tony having a well-established career as one, should be able to master that feature.

 

‘’Where the hell are you, Wonder?’’ Gob’s getting a little pissed. He is sick and tired of these nerves and feelings that have been racing through his body all day. If Tony decides not to show, it would make him feel worse for even worrying in the first place.

 

But a cloud of smoke and glitter explode from a corner of the room and Gob whips his head back to see Tony Wonder standing there, in the living room with his hands in the air in a pose that screams ‘applaud me!’

 

‘’Did somebody say…wonder!’’ Tony exclaims, looking around the room with a broad smile on his face, as if there’s a whole audience.

 

Any anger Gob felt is immediately replaced with a shit-ton of nerves again. There he is. The man that has been haunting his thoughts ever since Cinco, and if he’s honest with himself (which he rarely is), even way before that.

 

By getting to know Tony the last couple of months, Gob can pick up on a glint in his eyes and twitches on his face that reveal that Tony might just be as nervous about this as he is. So, like a how-they-do-that after a magic illusion, he thinks about applauding to relieve the tension, but decides on a ‘’Wow, nice one’’ instead.

 

That seemed to do the trick, as Tony visibly relaxes a bit. ‘’Thanks, I had to let myself in for it to work though, sorry if that's rude or something.’’

 

-‘’That’s okay, I would’ve let you in anyway.’’ In more ways than Tony probably realizes, Gob guesses.

Tony’s lip curls upward in a dazzling smirk that has Gob’s stomach fluttering again.

 

The smile transforms back into a nervous look just as quickly, unfortunately, and Tony seems to be really interested in anything but Gob’s face or body, shuffling a little awkward with his feet, clearly not knowing how to move forward from this.

‘’So,’’ Gob says, ‘’you wanted to talk?’’.

‘’I did, I mean, I do…’’ He’s looking around as if there’s anything interesting about the Homefill décor.

 

God, Gob could really use a drink right now. Realizing that he stood in front of a man who was…same as him, he offered to grab them both some wine and go settle down in the living room. Tony’s smile was back and Gob felt a new emotion (again?!), some feeling of having done something good, being able to think same like another person…this was all so fucked up and weird! The feeling was pretty nice though, so Gob decided not to dwell on it too long.

 

 

 

Some alcohol really helped the situation, because soon enough the two men were laughing and talking like nothing ever happened.

‘’But you can’t tell time in a suitcase, right, but it felt like forever so I decided to just jump out when someone said ‘wonder’, so I could go look what took Sally so long. Like, everything be damned. And then nobody said ‘wonder’! Who doesn’t say wonder at least once in a conversation?’’ Gob laughed a little at the story and, like always, could relate to what Tony was saying. The last couple of weeks he had heard the word (or words sounding like) ‘wonder’ more than he could bear.

 

‘’But anyway, where did you go? I know we had plans for Cinco and then Cinco never happened and Sally rushed me away and stuff and I really should’ve called you again, but I didn’t hear anything from you? When I came back yesterday, I ran into your brother who said he didn’t really….uhm… _know_ where you were.’’

 

There was no accusation in his tone, only genuine interest and Gob let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. ‘’I…I was in Mexico…with my dad.’’

-‘’Your dad? That’s amazing, I thought you said he never wanted to hang out with you.’’

God, Gob had missed this. Having conversations where both parties actually cared and listened. It was still so alien to him.

‘’He doesn’t. So yeah, when he wanted to go on the trip it was awesome, so I really hadn’t much time to prepare before we left. I guess I could’ve called you too, but, you know…’’

 

He looked Tony in the eyes. Tony was faced his way on the couch, hunched over a bit in interest, but the look in his eyes said that he didn’t know.. And Gob did not want to go back. Not back to lying or pretending or whatever. He had had plenty of those kinds of interactions with people. He felt like he slowly had gotten addicted to this, to Tony, something opposite of the roofies he was addicted to.. instead of wanting to feel blissfully ignorant, Gob now wanted to stay feeling in touch with someone, with something, with reality. The constant pull to lay his heart out and tell Tony anything and everything that went through his head and chest was becoming overwhelming. Especially after trying to fight or flight it for so long.

 

‘’…there was a Cinco, Tony. We had the sex date. And these feelings I have for you…they never stopped. They just grew and grew and I didn’t know how to react to it and then you forgot Cinco and you were gone…And I don’t even care about all that anymore, I tried to get over us when I was away in Mexico, but I couldn’t and I don’t want to anymore. I really l…like you Tony. And if you feel the same way, like I think you do, although I’m not totally sure, but you said back then that you had feelings too and now you’re here and…’’ Gob was rambling, finally pouring his heart out and there seemed to be a waterfall of words he could not stop. He dared not to look up at Tony, fearing that this would be the day that Tony wouldn’t look at him like he could relate, that they wouldn’t be ‘same’.

 

So the kiss was unexpected.

 

Tony’s lips where on his in a sweet kiss, just a few moments, before separating, but still with his face close to Gob’s, trying to catch Gob’s eye, but somehow already staring into his soul.

 

‘’…and I really want to be same with you like, all the time..’’ Gob continued, not knowing how to react to this. So Tony just kissed him in between his sentences. ‘’…and maybe you being here now means that you feel the same way…’’ kiss ‘’..and if you do…’’ peck on the lips ‘’…we could figure out how to deal with this, ‘cause feelings…’’  kiss on the neck ‘’…are so weird, but they feel good…’’ hand in his hair ‘’..when I’m with you..’’  Tony was half in his lap by now.

 

‘’Gob?’’

He finally dared to look Tony in the eyes.

‘’…y..yes..?’’

-‘’Shut up.’’ Tony laughed as he surged back into Gob and Gob decided to go back to his go-to move: Doing, not thinking.

 


End file.
